No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
