Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
