lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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