That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Text me some of your sweat
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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