So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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