theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize