i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
