Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
