Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
