You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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