I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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