the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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