I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
