is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste