How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
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just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.