You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize