Even water is tasting like jack daniels
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.