This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's great music for shaving your balls
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
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I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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