I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize