I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You were trust falling into bushes
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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