I just saw a hot homeless man
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
