Got a toothbrush?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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