you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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