so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
