sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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