Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
