My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Come on in and take your pants off
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