Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
