I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In other news, I just burned my penis
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
