my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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