it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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