Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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