I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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