Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Damn victory sex feels great
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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