you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
