WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
