So drunk its hurt
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
