Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

we should wear snuggies to the strip club

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time

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(770): View more from Georgia

I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask

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(727): View more from Florida

His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.

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