That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize