so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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