she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
