I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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