omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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