I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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