did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
