You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
this boner is exhausting
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
