Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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