Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
