yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
