You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
