My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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