i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
whose parrot is this?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm like, not good at living.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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