thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
