WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
