She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
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I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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