Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
