in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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