oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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