is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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