Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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