To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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