At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
