wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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