Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
